Parenting Support for Trauma Survivors
The different stages of childbirth or parenting can be triggering to survivors of childhood and relational trauma due to similarities or even differences from their own childhood. Parenthood is a significant adjustment for anyone, and particularly for trauma survivors it can be overwhelming learning how to regulate yourself as well as your child. The birth of a child and the demands of taking care of children can be isolating, all-encompassing, and require things from you that may trigger trauma responses in you that can be scary to manage on your own.
Being pregnant and giving birth are such emotionally and physically taxing experiences that can be traumatic themselves, especially when there is an expectation of moving on immediatly to care for the child. There are so many unpredictable variables that can occur in pregnancy, childbirth, and childcare, as well as in the development of a young child that can create emotional distress.
We can provide a space to better understand these triggers and how to manage them and support you in potentially making parenthood a healing process rather than one of more suffering and isolation. Trauma informed parenting, like any trauma healing, requires supportive and safe relationships.
If you are noticing that your experience with pregnancy, childbirth, or parenthood is becoming distressing to you and affecting your ability to take care of yourself, you might consider getting the help of a therapist to support you. This might include traumatic birth experiences, birth trauma, or traumatic births, miscarriages, preeclampsia, ectopic pregnancies, having a child with a birth defect or developmental delay, or having complex childhood trauma.
This might include having experiences like:
Flashbacks, nightmares, or recalled memories of your own childhood
Anger or resentment towards your child
Feeling incapable or unable to care for your child
Self-criticism, blame, and shame about parenthood
Difficulty in regulating or attuning to your child’s needs
Postpartum depression
Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders
Regret, questioning & worry about having a child
Fear & anxiety about pregnancy and childbirth
Trauma requires support & community to heal
Unfortunately, pregnancy, childbirth, and parenthood have become more and more individualized and isolating where they used to be done in community. Trauma occurs when our distress outweighs our resources and emotional and social supports to manage it. Our society doesn’t acknowledge or provide room to process the experiences that come along with pregnancy and childbirth; we’re expected to only discuss and share the positive aspects and move on immediatly from the difficult ones. We’re not given help or grace in parenting, which is something that used to be done in tandem with a whole community. And for complex trauma survivors who have already felt isolated and without support, these experiences can be re-triggering as well.
Our Approach
We utilize a reflective, relational approach meaning that rather than doing therapy “to” or “at” you, we are engaging in relationship with you in a way that creates safety and security through which healing happens naturally.
You deserve to have a caring other present with you to witness you and your experiences with compassion and without judgement. Seeking out support demonstrates a desire you have to be the best version of yourself, perhaps for your child but also for you.
Pregnancy, childbirth, parenthood, and the loss and grief inherent in these deserve space, attention, and validation as significant human experiences. And while they present so many challenges in the present, they also often call back so many challenges from the past that have been left unhealed, unprocessed, or unseen. Connecting again with yourself and the child you once were, showing up for yourself with compassion, curiosity, and without judgement, is the best thing that you can do for yourself and your children, and you shouldn’t have to do this all on your own.