“Many abused children cling to the hope that growing up will bring escape and freedom.

But the personality formed in the environment of coercive control is not well adapted to adult life. The survivor is left with fundamental problems in basic trust, autonomy, and initiative. She approaches the task of early adulthood――establishing independence and intimacy――burdened by major impairments in self-care, in cognition and in memory, in identity, and in the capacity to form stable relationships.

She is still a prisoner of her childhood; attempting to create a new life, she reencounters the trauma.”

– Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery

I am incredibly honored to do the work that I do as a therapist, especially a therapist that works with those who have been hurt by people in their lives that were supposed to care for them. In this world we do well when we are cared for consistently, when we are heard and validated, when our reality can be mirrored and shared by those around us. Sadly, this safe way of caring and relating goes horribly wrong for many people, both in their families and also in other social relationships. The results of these moments (whether it’s just one moment or years of moments) can be shame, insecurity, fear, and doubt – and a basic mistrust of relationships.

Creating a workshop on attachment and trauma was important to me because I see so many in my work who want to connect more deeply with others and yet are unsure how, and even if deep connection is meant for them. Sometimes it can be clear why people feel anxious or afraid to connect and other times it can feel like a huge mystery. From my work I continue to learn the necessity of safe, caring, consistent and supportive relationships as a springboard into healthy adult relationships. The never-ending search for happiness is closer to home than we think it is, and taking steps to identify the attachment pains and losses is a helpful place to start learning what is needed to experience gratifying adult relationships.

The trauma and attachment workshop will take place on April 16th, from 9-12pm. For more information or to register, click here.

No Comments